I've no purpose - complex PTSD

Nov 25, 2018

Have you too questioned your purpose and the purpose of life? Did or do things feel meaningless & pointless to you?

Is this a present struggle or one that you overcame?

I felt like there was just no point in living for so long. I felt so alien and so different to everyone else, that I truly felt like I had no purpose and life had no purpose.

 For me it certainly was a miserable seemingly never ending STRUGGLE. 

After all the trauma it’s difficult and almost horrible to look to the future. It’s something we avoid, as it feels things will never change for us…

We are often stuck in the past, with nothing to look forward to. No wonder it feels like there is no purpose and that we wake up every morning feeling miserable, stuck and depressed. 

We needed in-between stepping stones to get out of this.

I just attended a workshop, where we were creating mission statements and crafting purpose statements. While I can get really excited about this today, 10 years ago I couldn't. It just would’ve brought up emptiness and despair.

That's why I want to share my in-between step with you, in the hope it helps you too. Maybe not, but I’m always curious to know what keeps you stuck or what you used as an in-between stepping stone to get out of this dark place trauma can place you in.

So, for me the original first purpose was just to be in this moment.

Couldn’t that be our purpose, just to learn to experience the richness of this moment?

When you have PTSD being present in the moment, is something really difficult to achieve, because we're so stuck in the past. And if we're thinking about the future it's usually anxiety provoking.

So, even staying in the present moment can be a scary thing. It's something that we need to learn - it's a skill.

It took me like 7 years to do. I'm very slow progress.

I worked on my in-between purpose in life for a long time and that’s ok. The more I could stay in the moment and become at ease with being in the moment and really appreciating the beauty in the moment, the more I could be curious.

The more present and curious I was the more I could connect with my inner resourcefulness and become a bit more explorative. That’s when I started:

  • to have new ideas
  • then I could start seeing a bigger purpose, a different purpose for myself
  • different new exciting goals for the future

But this was only possible with this in-between stepping stone.

So, here you have it. That's what helped me personally, but I'm looking forward to reading your comments and insights too :)

In the meantime, is always sending you lots & lots of love and rainbows to brighten up the tough times just a little

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