Have you tried to meditated and you zoned out instead and it turned into a form of dissociation?
It's really really difficult to meditate when you have complex PTSD, anxiety disorders, OCD, ADHD ... because there're certain parts of our brain that are either working too hard or not hard enough - Yes, there's a physiological component to this. So, please don't beat up on yourself.
It's hard to find that balance, calm and inner peace when you got a brain where thoughts are on a mad race 24/7
People think that meditation is all about not having any thoughts. That you can just sit cross-legged and be without having any thoughts ... there's a lot more to meditation ...
Some people may actually think it's more like a mindfulness exercises, but we need to start somewhere :)
Start small one step at the time: like you can't get toddlers to skip learning to walk and instead go straight to a skate board ramp and put them on skate boards...
You can choose a song that is kind of calming or soothing. Most songs are about 3 minutes long - so perfect to guide the length of the exercise
The exercise I do is focusing on something specific e.g.:
Every time my mind wanders off (and it does that a lot) I bring my attention and focus back to the exercise.
Every time other thoughts come up, you can acknowledge that thought briefly and then even thank your brain for giving you an opportunity to strengthen that re-focus muscle :)
Our brain is just so much faster at re-wiring with self-compassion.
The reason I'm keeping the exercises that short is because it is exhausting. You don't start training for a marathon by running one, you start with small distances and build up...
Key is to stop the exercise the second you get frustrated and start beating up on yourself.
Meditation loses all its potential benefit then.
Do them multiple times throughout the day - maybe morning, lunch and dinner time.
Remember to keep them short :)
What I found is that now every time I'm trigger (i.e. past memories come it), I'm better at grounding myself and focus on what's important to me here and now.
This short exercise done multiple times throughout the day can really help you strengthen that re-focus muscle.
So, I know some people might say that it's not meditation, but I argued it is :) It's the first step.
I also use guided meditations, which I found helpful if the voice is calm and soothing.
The most profound impact on me achieving some form of inner peace was through Holosync meditation (Holosync/Centerpointe). I've been using them daily for a couple of years now. I highly encourage you to try them. There is a link here and if you click that I may get a referral fee. Alternatively, you can just google it :)
On their website you can find out about the technology they use to help your brain change to more relaxed brain wave patterns...
I know it's not cheap, but to be honest Holosync works out cheaper than the medication I used to be on. (there is a sale on too at the moment :)
Holosync just really helped me to calm down my brain and I actually have a sense of inner peace now. Something I thought was never going to be possible for me... I even managed to get off all my meds ... :)
So this is what I do daily:
For so long, I so easily got hooked by my past horrors, constantly reliving them... These exercises where part of what helped me get my brain to re-focus my attention on the many positives in my life now.
I'm curious to know what you tired and what works for you too. Is there a guided meditation that you would like to share with us...
Overcoming those negative thought pattern can be exhausting. So, please be kind with yourself :)
Until next time, lots & lots of love and rainbows to brighten up the tough times just a little :)
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